I have to begin with an apology. This post will have no photos. It's a little bit more personal that anything I've written on this blog before. I have come to the fact that this is me. This is part of who I am, it has brought me to this very spot in life, and is not letting go. I have fought with this for what seems forever, and I've decided to bring it to life. To use my talents, my gifts, my pain, my loss, and my words to create a book. A book about loss.
Please know that I love what I do. I love the baby bellies, the little adorable babies and children that come my way. I feel so privileged to be able to photograph the amazing families that come to me. I love what I do, and that will never change. This past year has made my passion even stronger. To help, to guide, to just enjoy life. Every life.
I would also just like to say a quick thank you. A thank you to all my wonderful clients that make this "job" for me possible. I could not do this without you.
A little while ago I wrote this note on facebook.
"I am feeling a bit inspired tonight. So I'd like to tell you a little bit about my story, about this idea that has been brewing in my mind for a while, but has yet to come out on paper. This week I will be writing out the details, so you'll have to stay tuned for those, but I have a project idea and I need your help.
I have been a bit hesitant to write anything about this on my business page, but this has been my definition. So here's a little bit about myself, that maybe some of you don't know.
I have miscarried 5 times in the last 2 years. There is BabyA, BabyB, Ailey, Jewel, and Grace. All in the first trimester, and all at different weeks. We have done a number of tests, and can't find anything wrong (for those of you wondering) and at the moment, I am done trying to figure it out.
I have felt alone in this pain, mostly because I have isolated myself. It seemed easier then reaching out for help. For people who ask, I talk. I am always very open about my story, but I have realized that I cover most of the bad stuff. I cover up how hard it's been - how hard it is.
So here is me reaching out. To you.
Will you help me? Will you tell me your story?
I would like to create a book. A book about infertility. A book of photos, words, pain, and inspiration.
There are lots of details to this to be organized. I don't know how long it'll take, or what the finished product will look like, but I need to start somewhere.
Let me know and we'll set up a time. We'll do a photoshoot, and chat about you. This photoshoot will be free for you, and if you would like any copies of the photos just let me know and we'll work something out. The photos can include your partner or be by yourself.
Share this with everyone you can. Help me create a book, so we're not alone.
I am wanting to share my story, and hear your story! There are so many of us that are hurting, so many of us that are going through some of this seemingly alone.
When I was in the midst, I wanted to see faces. I wanted to hear someone say. "Me too. I understand. I've been through that. I am in the same place as you." I didn't want the advice, I didn't want to hear medical terms or questions about what we were doing next. I wanted to feel less 'alone'. I knew that there were people that I could reach out to, that I could lean on any of my friends. But in the midst, when depression is stealing the light, it's scary reaching out. To say those words you long to say for fear of completely breaking down, and never getting back up. To be able to hold it together often ment silent smiles, and painful laughter. Crying alone at night, and rising the next day solely out of habit.
So here is my vision for my book. Photos. Photos of faces, of scars, of memories and of women and men who have or are dealing with a loss. A loss of a child, miscarriages or infertility. A place where people can come and look and see, they are not alone. It will be our community, maybe even someone you know. There will be stories, there will be words, verses, quotes and songs. It will be emotional, honest, and inspiring.
So I would like your help. If you, or someone you know have words to say and a story to tell, please contact me. We will first sit down and have a coffee, get to know each other a little bit more, and decide which direction to take. As the book takes on life, I will see which stories will stay. I would love to include every single word...but we'll see how it goes. After we chat, we'll talk about the photo for you. It's going unique to you. Mostly black and white, but again, once it takes on life, a different direction might arise. You will get a final look at your page, and the story that will go into the book before it gets published to make sure that all the information is correct, and you are comfortable with what's said and how it looks.
Thank you all! Here is all my contact information if you would like to contact me!
Wendy Peters
281.7931 (call/text)
wharder@gmail.com
